


Division of Labor

by Zygomatique



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Bottom Klaus Hargreeves, M/M, Oral Sex, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Prostitution, Pseudo-Incest, Sibling Incest, Spitroasting, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 15:45:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21358696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygomatique/pseuds/Zygomatique
Summary: I suck at summary so here's the prompt.Most of the family is back together in the mansion. Eventually some of the siblings (mainly Luther and Five), start pushing Klaus that he needs to pull his weight and contribute. If he eats, he’s gotta work.By work they mean training and being a proper member of the Academy. But Klaus has zero interest in talking to ghosts and going on missions. He’d much rather fall back on his go to career: hooking for food and shelter. He seduces his greatest critics to get them off his back.(Aged up Five!)
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 15
Kudos: 226





	Division of Labor

Klaus rubbed sleep from his eyes. In a half-assed concession to modesty, he slipped into Allison’s borrowed skirt before making his way to the kitchen, where the smell of fresh coffee had coaxed him from his bed. Caffeine was child’s play compared to meth or coke or the speedy pills they handed out to the soldiers in ‘Nam, but hey, it was _something_. 

Pouring most of the contents of the piping hot carafe into an enormous bright orange mug, Klaus barely noticed Number Five sitting at the table, sipping a cup of his own.

“I hope you’re at least going to make another pot of that,” he said.

“Top of the morning to you too, Five,” Klaus replied. A bit of coffee sloshed over the edge of his cup as he opened up the pantry and grabbed a big box of cereal. As he searched the shelves for a bowl, he heard Luther’s heavy footsteps entering the kitchen.

“Klaus,” Luther acknowledged. “We missed you in training yesterday.”

“Did you? That’s so sweet!” Klaus said, sniffing the milk before loading up his bowl.

“This isn’t a joke, Klaus. It’s time you started pulling your weight around here.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Klaus scoffed in exaggerated horror as he perched himself on the kitchen table.

“I’m calling you a leech. You eat our food, you drink _my_ coffee…”

“Well I _am_ part of your family.”

“You’re part of our team,” Luther said. “Start acting like it.”

“Sheesh. I saved your asses exactly once — well, Diego’s a couple times. Now I’m retired. I fought in Vietnam for Christ’s sake. I have PTSD.”

“Who doesn’t?” said Five.

Klaus chewed his cereal. “That’s fair.”

“When are you going to grow up, Klaus?" asked Five. "You haven’t even scratched the surface of your full potential. You haven’t even tried.”

“Whatever, Dad. It’s not like you need me now that Ben’s alive.”

It was true. After a series of fortunate time-warping shenanigans, Ben’s body had been restored, as had the mansion, and Five had settled into a comfortable 30-year-old physique. Even Vanya was pitching in, learning to modulate her tremendous powers. PTSD notwithstanding, the Academy was as functional as it had ever been. In a world with the Horror and the White Violin, who needed the Séance?

“Ben doesn’t like using his powers any more than you do,” Luther pointed out. “He hates it, if you haven’t noticed. And yet he suits up and shows up because he understands he has a responsibility to the world, and to the rest of us.”

Klaus threw back the rest of his coffee, scalding his throat. “Well he’s a sucker, then, isn’t he?”

“I’m drawing a line, Klaus,” Luther said. “If you’re going to stay here, you’ve gotta work. Simple.”

“Oh, is that all?” The words rolled off Klaus’ tongue before the thought sank in: a wicked thought, dirty and delicious. _Too easy._ Setting his half-finished breakfast aside, he stretched out on his bare side along the full length of the table and wiggled his toes at Luther. “Well. Now you’re speaking my language.”

Luther's eyes narrowed like he was trying to figure out the answer to a trick question. “You’ve never worked a day in your life.”

“_Au contraire, mon frere_. Though nights _are_ more the norm.” Klaus slid forward. “All this talk about untapped potential? Please. I assure you, my greatest talents have _hardly_ gone untapped.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Fucking, Luther,” Five cut in. “He means fucking, obviously. Whoring himself out.”

Klaus sat up. “Geez, no need to sugarcoat it. Though you can sugarcoat _me_ any time, in that hot new bod of yours.”

Five almost looked receptive to the idea. Luther just stared. “Is that true, Klaus?”

“How do you think I survived on the streets so long all by my lonesome?”

“I guess I never thought about it.” Luther said. He looked almost sad, quite confused, a little turned on.

“You didn’t even spare a thought for you poor, innocent baby brother, out there all alone at the mercy of the night?”

“Oh like you didn’t love every minute of it.”

"Every minute, sadly, no. But—every minute with a strapping hunk of muscle like you? _Mmm_." Klaus slid off the table and into the dangerous waters of Luther’s personal space. “Not sure you’ve got much to compare me with, but I’m _pret-ty_ spectacular. I could be a big help to you, Dear Leader. Help you blow off a little steam after all those _long_, _hard_ nights saving the world.” He tugged at the edge of Luther’s jacket. “Oh, I know it’s a little weird and all, you being my… oh _wait_.” He giggled, relishing this, the play of conflict over Luther’s face.

Luther shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t have the right….equipment.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find I’m well equipped to take whatever you can give me.” Klaus was well aware that Luther could crush his trachea like a beer can if he pushed too far. He kind of dug that. His heart raced with the cheap thrill of it. Who needed coffee, after all? “Just close your eyes and think of Allison.”

“Don’t talk about her like that. She’s not…she's not like you at all.”

“Pity, isn’t it?” Klaus pouted. “To think of all the fun new games she could show you.” He swiveled his hips, edging up his skirt. “A whole new world! Guess you’ll have to settle for the next best thing.” He trailed his hand down Luther’s shirt. “I’ve always wanted to see what you’re packing down here. A little Discovery Channel action?”

That did it. As Luther seized him by the throat, a little thrill of terror shot down his spine and straight to his dick. Klaus’ eyes strained sideways to Five, who looked equal parts aroused and amused. As Luther squeezed tighter, Klaus’ hand slid down his abdomen again to the arc of his stiffening cock. For a long, airless moment, it was a duel of wills, but Klaus’ won out as Luther’s pelvis bucked into his touch, and his gorilla grip on his neck loosened ever so slightly.

“You like that?” Klaus wheezed, fondling Luther’s growing bulge. “Oh yeah, little Spaceboy's getting ready to launch.”

“Show us what you're worth, Klaus,” said Five, who suddenly standing so much closer to them both, eyes agleam. “If you insist you’re such a great lay, prove it.”

Klaus smiled. “Well for starters, I have arms and legs.”

The corner of Five’s lip twitched, and Klaus wanted to kiss him. Instead he turned his focus back to Luther, who was an easier mark, still frozen in place. The big oaf's lips tasted oddly delicious, almost sweet, and Klaus felt the last of his restraint melt away.

Klaus pulled away from the kiss. Luther looked stoned, the lust and confusion muddling his gaze. Klaus tilted his head.

“Is it the goatee? I can always shave, I suppose.”

Luther grabbed Klaus by the head and practically forced him to his knees. “Shut up and work, Klaus,” he grunted.

Klaus purred in delight, victorious. Luther’s cock was big, not ungodly big — he didn’t get body-swapped with a Clydesdale— but good big, back-of-your-throat big, the size Klaus went wild for. “Its like Christmas morning at the petting zoo,” Klaus managed before Luther seized his face with one hand and pinched his jaws apart. The instant Luther’s cock was in his mouth, he couldn’t wait to feel it carving up his ass. But wait he would. Hardly anybody seemed to realize, but Klaus could be patient when he needed to.

Luther’s pubes smelled shower-fresh, his balls tight with need as Klaus fondled them gingerly. Fingers raked roughly through his hair. He’d assumed they were Luther’s, but they were thinner; they were Five’s. “Let’s take this to that biohazard you call a bedroom,” Five told Klaus. “Not all of us are animals.”

“If you say so,” Klaus said, dabbing his mouth with his wrist. Five vanished in a blue flash and Luther picked Klaus up like a briefcase and whisked him down the hall to his bedroom. Ever resourceful, Five was already rifling through Klaus’ bedside drawers in search of lube. Luther sat on the bed with his legs wide apart and dropped Klaus to the floor between his tree trunk knees. “Suck,” he ordered, and Klaus went right back to work, rewetting his lips, a tight little “O” around his brother’s smooth girth. Behind him, Five gave Klaus’ ass a sharp little smack. “Up,” he said, and Klaus raised his hips into something approaching downward dog without taking his lips off Luther’s cock. Five groped and caressed him, slender hands roaming his naked back and pushing up his skirt.

“Commando?” Five whistled. “Naughty girl, Number Four.” Klaus whimpered as he worked Luther’s dick with his lips, tongue, and throat, and Five parted his cheeks and studied his hole. “Show us you’re good for something, Klaus,” Five said. “Surprise me.” Over Luther’s thickening breath and the slurps and pops of grade-A head, Klaus heard Five’s zipper opening, followed by lube squelching out of its tube. His own cock twitched as Five’s slippery fingers probed his ass. It wasn’t just work; he wanted it. He’d trained himself to want it, and he wanted it desperately, to be filled up, defiled and abused.

Five wasted no time. “Mmm,” Klaus whined as Five’s cock pierced him, just as Luther was thrusting up deep into his skull. “Show us how your dirty little whore-hole takes it.” Holding his hips, Five began to fuck him, and Klaus felt the stretch behind his thighs as Luther pulled his head down once more. Five was not as long or thick as Luther, but he was enough, insofar as _anything_ was enough for Klaus, which it wasn’t, not really, not ever. He _always_ wanted more, until he didn't, but by then he was usually too far gone to remember. He tried to remember the last time he’d been properly spit-roasted, but his memory was riddled with holes.

Speaking of holes, Five positively ravaged Klaus'. _So this is how a trained assassin fucks_, Klaus thought. The precision of a surgeon, the power of an M16. It felt so good, He moaned around Luther's dick, surprised the big guy hadn’t come in his mouth yet. Then again, repression was basically Luther’s second superpower. 

“Let’s swap,” Luther panted after a while, and they spun Klaus around like a doll. One moment he was looking at Luther’s cock and the next he was staring down Five’s, equally sloppy and swollen with need.

“I got that hole of yours nice and warmed up,” Five said. “Not like you need it, do you? You could take both of us at once, I bet.”

Five didn’t give Klaus the space to argue with that, not like he could have anyway. Five’s dick was right there, at his lips, on his tongue, ripe with lube and the animal scent of his own insides. Klaus was not the biggest ass-to-mouth fan on the block — he could name a few candidates for that — but he could certainly handle it, sucking up the taste until only Five’s faintly spicy flavor filled his head.

At his back, Luther wedged himself in bone-deep. He pushed in slow, almost cautious, like he wasn't quite sure if there was room for him. But once Luther bottomed out inside Klaus and slid halfway back out again a few times, he caught on pretty quick. Klaus wanted more. The fiery stretch of it, so satisfying, just shy of pain as Luther’s inhibitions fell away and he began to really move. After that, it was all Klaus could to hang on, to let his ass and his lips go slack as he took what his brothers were serving. As if there were anything he could have done to stop them at that point, impaled at both ends like shish kabob.

Luther hollowed him out, balls smacking his taint, until his tortured rim cried out for more lube. Luther’s massive arms and Five’s fierce grip on his curls stabilized his body as they shared it, used it up, grunting and moaning like beasts. Klaus’ bedroom fairy-lights cast little glints of fire off the sweat and lube and drool and pre-cum shining on their skin. Luther’s cock in his ass, _Luther’s cock in his ass!_, and vicious Five, now and then slapping his cheek to get him to suck harder and deeper.

“So this is how you want to earn your keep, Klaus?” Five growled. “Four the whore? The Academy cumdump? Everyone lining up outside your bedroom door?” A wordless moan escaped Klaus’ throat, full as it was with Five’s cock. Klaus imagined Diego’s muscled chest spread out like a buffet beneath him as he rode him cowgirl style; Allison’s plump tits bouncing in his face as she pegged him ruthlessly; Vanya’s tight little pussy dripping juices down his cock. And Ben, those tentacles…._hooboy_. It was too much. He wanted it. He didn’t _want_ to want it, yet he did. He wanted to be wanted, needed, thirsted for. _Part of the team_.

Luther’s cock pulsed and throbbed inside him, impossibly big, now, it seemed, bolting him down as he choked on Five’s thrusts. With his free hand, Klaus reached for his own dick, but Luther’s meaty fingers found it first. Klaus thrust one, two, three times into Luther’s slick, leathery palm before he was coming, crying out, blind with sensory overload. Luther kept going, and going, full throttle, fierce and sloppy. Five made a point of coming on his face. Then Luther finally finished, filling Klaus up with piping hot cream before collapsing half on top of him in a heaving heap.

Klaus came back into his wreck of a gift of a body, edging out stickily from beneath Luther’s mass. He eased himself upright and mopped Five’s cum off his face with the nearest once-worn tee-shirt. “Ah, nothing like a hard day’s work,” he said, grinning at both his brothers. “Can I finish my breakfast now?”

Five was already tucking himself back into his clothes, impossibly clean. “Your call, Luther,” said Five. “Think he’s earned it?”

Luther looked shell-shocked. His eyes stayed fixed to the ceiling, away from Klaus, as if asking the cosmos for indefinite forgiveness. “Yeah,” he nodded at last. “That’ll do at least till lunchtime.”


End file.
